Cold hands, warm shart.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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