Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
