she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize