I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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