im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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