Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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