when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
