I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
