Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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