i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize