I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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