which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
