Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
