i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
