I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
