Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
