This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
