My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize