I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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