eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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