Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
