OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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