You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
