i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
