He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
