I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
