So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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