babies were throwing up all over the place
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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