he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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