i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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