ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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