Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
