Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
