you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
