Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
