I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
