Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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