you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
