are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
