yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
