Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
