I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
