Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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