Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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