check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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