I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
