I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
