Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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