I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
