discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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