pedialite and red bull = repair kit
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
