you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
