This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
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He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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