I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
