Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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