umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
