You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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