Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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