i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
