didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
