Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
