You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
