Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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