My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just want nice things and good sex
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
