There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
