put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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