I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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