it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
