Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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