Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am