I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..